The Butterfly Effect

I tried to love you once,
I tried to love you twice.
Truth is that,
I've been in love this whole time.

Forgiveness and forgetting is what I've been aiming for.
Been living my life without you,
and my heart was so sore,
I was tempted by another,
now I'm alone and broken even more.

How do you justify,
a promise to follow your heart?
then get wrapped up in the moment,
because you've been so torn apart.

I was ready for the wind, the waves and to see your face,
I was finally ready to come and get you and get out of this place.
But then I went and fucked it all up,
because my heart wasn't willing to wait.

I gave up the love of my life,
for another that threw me away.
I should have known that was coming.
Karma's slap in my face.

I deleted your number because I figured you'd want it that way,
Now I'm blocked on your Facebook and Google,
Erased.

I have no way of telling you how sorry I am,
It was rude to tell you I'd be there,
Then tell you I met someone else,
and hope that you'd understand.

It's true we have a lot in common,
But I have this way of repelling,
all the girls that aren't you,
But that's my fault, I had it coming.

I tried to fill these holes you left me with 3 years ago
With the "safety" of another,
but she took what she wanted
and then she let me go.

I shouldn't have trusted,
a heart that's as broken and bruised up like mine.
I should have stayed loyal,
I was giving you time.

I was two seconds away from having another try
And I messed it all up
because I didn't want to lie.

You're the one that I dreamed of,
That first night after they opened me up.
I wanted more than anything to see you.
In my dream, you were singing.
But then I woke up.

And reality hit me,
When you asked to see me,
I didn't want to hurt you,
because I knew she'd be with me.

I pushed you away,
And now you're gone without a trace,
In just two minutes of my life,
I threw all my happiness away.

I'm sorry.

I Dare You To Drive Away, I'll Just Hold On Real Tight

I don't know what to do with you,
And I should because we're the same.
But I don't quite understand myself,
So maybe I'll never understand the way you think.

You've sacrificed a lot for me,
And I feel I have for you.
I recognize that your sacrifice,
for me has been multiplied by two.

One day I hope to be the guy,
That can do the same for you.
I plan on it in fact,
Because my heart just wants me to.

And I can't do that with money or material things,
Neither of us care for that,
But building a secure future
Is what I hope to gain.

You're mad at me now,
And I completely understand,
But I'm also mad at you
Because you're pissed I chose to work instead of being a horny man.

I have to do my job,
So I can be a family man,
Chasing the American Dream,
And maybe you don't give a damn.

But when I'm older and I'm 30,
I want to say I've done something with my life,
I might not have a child
And I might not have a wife.

It's not that I don't want to,
It's just that I'm picky and I won't settle.
I'll wait for what I want,
And fight for it until I've lost the battle.

I thought my searching was over,
And maybe I got too hopeful,
Because I'm laying in bed alone now,
Cause I chose not to come over.

We both have responsibilities,
We're not teenagers anymore.
You've been strung out helping me,
And I know I'm capable of being yours.

But right now I have to be stable,
Hold my head up high against a world,
That seems determined to push me to my limits and knock me to the ground.

But I'm fighting as hard as I can,
To balance my career and my time for you,
because I refuse to be a bum and knocked off of my feet
I want to build my life for two.
A life for you and me.

You're mad at me tonight,
But just know I'm also mad at you.
I'd rather wake up with you by my side,
But I've got to do what I've got to do.

I'm not mad that you left,
I'm mad at how you treated me,
"The offer has expired"
Well then if that's how it's going to be.

I don't really have much to say,
Maybe you're chasing the wrong dream
I'm not the kind of guy that likes restrictions and timelines
I'm the kind of man that need to be free.

I care for you so much,
I slipped up already and said just how I feel,
I took it back because it scares you,
And I don't want you to think that this isn't real.

But you hurt me tonight,
Because I'm not up for games,
I tried gambling with my heart once,
It left me broken, poor, and in pain.

I won't stop fighting for you,
Because that's just who am,
But know that I'm capable of sacrificing,
and I hope that one day when I prove it, that you will understand.