As Lovers Go

I can't lie to you,
because I always tell the truth.
I'm just terrified to hand out business cards for my heart,
It's just easier to let that be my excuse.

I'll admit that I've been hesitating.
But I want you.
And I need you.
So, I won't let this opportunity go to waste.

Because there's there's this silly little smile
that likes to sprawl it's way across my face
when I think of you
and when your memory drifts through my mind.

I'll be yours if you'll let me,
but you already know that.
You just want to hear me say it.
and just for you I could.

You could have your choice of a million boys,
and I could charm a million girls to to my bidding.
But I want you.
Because I've chosen you.

You see, there's this feeling that I get inside,
and it's so real and so honest,
that it makes me terrified.
but what's life without a little risk,
to remind you that you're still alive.

We're both weird,
and we're both a little crazy.
But they match up so perfectly.
So, why not give this a good run through.
We can see what happens.

I'm not looking for complicated.
I'm looking for easy.
I'm looking to laugh and smile with someone,
Someone who will keep me up just a little bit later at night
because I just can't seem to get you off my mind.

Coming Clean

Strips of skin covered veins,
with organs, lungs and a heart.

Once upon a time,
your touch on my skin,
set a fire in my veins,
wound and bound up my organs,
stripped my lungs of it's breath,
and stole my heart.

You used to be an addiction,
but now I'm coming clean
purging my veins of your poisons
intoxication being striped from me piece by piece.

Tearing strips of skin away to operate on myself,
unwinding and unbinding organs
willing my lungs to breathe new breath
growing a new heart.

I will purge myself of you.
Piece by peaceful piece.

Before I woke this morning,
I dreamed of an ocean
full of waters
pure, peaceful, clear.

And I can't say that it's nice
to not have to miss you tonight,
because we were epic.
And we always will be.

I remember ecstasy tearing through my being,
but the time to clean has come.

I only ask,
that you don't resent me
because the us we were will forever
and always be missed.

My apologies
because I fear
that is something I can never cleanse.
It will always be a part of the man that I am.

11:51pm Spark

Is it okay to be mad?
to be angry?
to be upset?
That I don't trust because of you?
To want to hate you?
Though I've held onto a love for you for so long?

You say nice things to my face.
But you don't know me anymore.
And I think I'm done hanging on for you.
Who you used to be.
Didn't match with the man that I've become.

You'd just take me for granted.
But I won't let you push me around.
Because I have a backbone now.
You can thank yourself for that.

This will be my summer.
A Phoenix in the sun,
I'll rise from the ashes.
Sail under the burning fire of what we lost.

Reborn, I will show you how,
I even though I missed you
while you were looking for yourself out in LA
I've been moving forward.

I'm still stuck in your atmosphere.
And you're still in mine.
A true pain in my ass.
Because I don't think you're worth my time.

Still, there's a tiny spark.
One that needs my breath, my love, my soul
one that wants a fire to rage.
I try to ignore it but it's always there.

How do I let it fade to the background?
I know you're looking out for yourself.
And I'm looking out for me.
But sparks are dancing in a space unexplained.

Right now,
Complacent and miserable,
We ignore the subtle signs,
How long until our sparks collide?

parasitic?

I thought about
what it would mean to call you.
Then, I worried about spiders crawling through the line
and building nests in my ear.

Parasitic,
like your existence in my heart.
Why waste my love on you?

Three years later,
Your vanity,
I saw it polished brighter in the flesh than I'd ever seen it.

The idea of the person you could be,
the glimpse of a person I thought you were,
and the person that you really are,
they will never be the same.

Or at least for me,
you'll never let me know her again.

So, I'd say I miss you,
but I suppose there's no one to miss.

Thanks for the favor.
Maybe now, I can find peace.
Even if I never stop loving
the person I once thought I knew.

I'll Be Waiting

It was therapeutic
knowing I had someone like you to run into.
Cause I needed someone to save me from myself.
Piece by piece.

I pulled the stitches out on my own.
It may have been too soon.
But I didn't want anyone to know.
So, I super glued my splaying skin back together.

You say you're battling depression.
And I believe you.
I know that black hole.
That darkness, emptiness, the loneliness.

And I'm here for you.
I may have gone too far,
but the world will never know.
and you'll never see these scars because I am your rock.

Momma, you're breaking my heart again.
Dealing with a bad past,
doesnt mean you're destined for a failed future.
There's sunshine in the horizon!

Blackness may consume the east,
but white robes of redemption
are waiting for you in the west.
It won't be easy.

Not for you,
not for me,
But grab my hand and trust me,
because I swear my hands are steady,
and I'll never let go.

Til Your Setting Sun

I apologize for waiting so long,
to tell you all this.
Girl, I've been waiting years,
so hear me out,
cause there's not a word that I want you to miss.

Would you take this heart?
Even when it's old and gray?
I will stand by you always.
By you always.
Always, I swear.

Will you take me when I can't see?
I know you're beautiful.
And how I love it when you sing to me,
but I'll still love you when I can't see a damn thing,
and I'll still love you when you can't sing the same way you used to.

The sun is setting,
You're standing so close,
and how I want to steal that smile.
Steal it right from your lips,
and place it on mine.

I'm quiet,
and you're loud.
But I've heard that opposites attract.
And I can't help but drop it,
drop all doubt and react.

I'll be on the shoreline,
waiting on the coastline.
Where we were carefree,
where we were in love,
where time was endless,
as endless as the sea.

We won't be 20 and young forever.
Passion consumed us then.
We fought just as hard as we loved.
And I'll admit that I'm guilty.

But someday our beauty will fade.
And all we'll be left with is our heart and our brains.
So, I want to love you gently until we're 70.

And until we're 90,
up until we forget who we are
and what we loved each other for.
Only that we are eachother's rock.

That no matter what,
I'll be your constant.
Until you see your setting sun.
And when you do,
I hope you see those angels,
And, my love,
I hope you run.