When I was a kid, my brother and I used to go looking for arrowheads in the field behind my grandpa's house. It was spring, and we were itching to get out there and see what the winter and spring rains had pulled up. But the fields were still muddy and the area used to be a bog so pockets of quicksand were still an issue during wet springs.
Our mother told us on the drive to grandpa's house, that we were not to go into the fields and ruin our new shoes. So, we looked at the edge of the field for a while but didn't see anything interesting.
Then my brother yells out that he thinks he sees an arrowhead! So, he steps out into the field to get a closer look. Two steps in, he says he can't move his feet. He was stuck in the mud and getting deeper. I reached a hand out for him to grab and tried pulling him back toward the grass. But I couldn't pull hard enough. My hand slipped, and I fell into the mud. I was up to my wrist in mud that seemed as if it was doing everything it could to suck me in deeper. I managed to free my arm, but my feet took its place. I could reach my brother easily now being closer. I pulled and pulled and as my brother's feet popped out, I threw him onto the grass.
He tried to reach me to pull me out but couldn't reach far enough without stepping back into the field. I told him to run to get Mom and Grandpa. He was worried that Mom would be mad about our now, less-than-brand-new shoes. Still he ran as fast as his mud-cakes shoes would allow. I watched him disappear as he ran toward the house. About ten minutes later, my grandpa showed up with a rope and was able to pull me out. My brand new shoes were sacrificed in exchange for my freedom.
Later, after the fields dried and the farmer tilled it up, my grandpa retrieved my, now, very dirty and worn pair of shoes. I washed them up with the hose outside behind the house. Inside of the left shoe, I found the tip of an arrowhead.
Thursday, December 25, 2014
hauntings
a tiny candle flickers
perpetually waiting to ignight.
I know that you've since passed on
but still my heart denies
that you've found another life
and it's time to say goodbye.
simple words now on a screen
photos proof we used to be
and ghosts of happy memories
haunt me in my dreams.
I swear I loved you once
and I swear it still remains
so now I'm writing senseless stories
about lovers only in my mind.
trying to distract myself
because I'm still broken deep inside.
I swear it seems like yesterday
no formal last goodbyes.
painful daggers thrown at hearts
in anger and in pain.
wounds inflicted by wicked words
scars and broken hearts
love will never be the same.
my aching bones tell me
that waking time is near.
my vacation's coming to a close
as I start another year.
a jar of broken hearts
I've not lost a single one.
maybe one day down the road
I'll mend them all as one.
two souls so seemingly meant to be
yet now I'm here and now you're gone
every ounce of sanity demands that I let go
but my heart's still holding on to a tiny shred of hope
but I think I can
and with all my might
I swear that I'll try
yes I'll try
I'll try, to say goodbye.
perpetually waiting to ignight.
I know that you've since passed on
but still my heart denies
that you've found another life
and it's time to say goodbye.
simple words now on a screen
photos proof we used to be
and ghosts of happy memories
haunt me in my dreams.
I swear I loved you once
and I swear it still remains
so now I'm writing senseless stories
about lovers only in my mind.
trying to distract myself
because I'm still broken deep inside.
I swear it seems like yesterday
no formal last goodbyes.
painful daggers thrown at hearts
in anger and in pain.
wounds inflicted by wicked words
scars and broken hearts
love will never be the same.
my aching bones tell me
that waking time is near.
my vacation's coming to a close
as I start another year.
a jar of broken hearts
I've not lost a single one.
maybe one day down the road
I'll mend them all as one.
two souls so seemingly meant to be
yet now I'm here and now you're gone
every ounce of sanity demands that I let go
but my heart's still holding on to a tiny shred of hope
but I think I can
and with all my might
I swear that I'll try
yes I'll try
I'll try, to say goodbye.
Dear Santa, Dear Fate Monster, Dear Whom it May Concern,
Dear Santa, Dear Fate Monster, Dear Whom it May Concern,
I'm writing not to ask, but rather to say thanks. I never really make a list because I know my family doesn't have a lot to give by way of presents or money or gifts. Love has always been readily given, and that's all I really need.
I'd like to think I didn't ask for anything this year, but we both secretly know I wanted them. I got to spend Thanksgiving with my father and the tail end of Christmas with him and his wife. My mother and my brother were here the week before. The chance to hug them all was the best gift you could have given me. So I'm writing this letter to say thank you for every blessing you delivered throughout the year. And one day, when I'm needed most, I hope I can return your generosity, and bless someone with just my presence and my arms. The smile on my mother's face and the tears of joy in her eyes were worth more than a hundred presents under the tree. And my father's proud smile when he saw me in my shirt and tie just after work was sweeter than any pie he could ever made. My brother's excitement to share his art with someone who appreciates his creativity, was worth more than seeing who had the biggest present.
I'm happy. This year you've delivered more than my fair share of blessings. It's been a long tough year, but I've survived tougher and harder. Still, there were times when I didn't know if I'd make it through. I've carried a broken heart for a while, and it still aches, but its starting to heal. You guided me to a simple but beautiful home for me and my two beautiful girls. At times there were days, that I'd not had anything to eat, and my glorious pride ensured that I'd never ask for help. Yet, somehow, as if they knew, an angel would share a meal with me. Through left over mashed potatoes and cups of cool soup, I've learned to appreciate all of the amazing people you've sent my way. In different ways, they became a part of my essence and my soul. Most of all, they helped keep my hope alive. A small flame perpetually flickering in the dark, they helped me tend to my fire, keeping my hope and passion alive.
My greatest blessing this year, was the realization that I'm most proud of my passion. For so long, I tried to hide it, because it was strange and misunderstood by others around me. But it's something that I'm proud, rather than ashamed of now. It's a gift that others may not understand, but a gift that I'll no longer hide from the world. Rather, I'd like it to be shared.
Thank you for the miracles and all of the beautiful people you have guided me to this year. And especially, thank you for this last grand finale with my family. I could not have asked for more. I got all I wanted for Christmas resting in my heart.
Sincerely,
Luke Disher 2014
I'm writing not to ask, but rather to say thanks. I never really make a list because I know my family doesn't have a lot to give by way of presents or money or gifts. Love has always been readily given, and that's all I really need.
I'd like to think I didn't ask for anything this year, but we both secretly know I wanted them. I got to spend Thanksgiving with my father and the tail end of Christmas with him and his wife. My mother and my brother were here the week before. The chance to hug them all was the best gift you could have given me. So I'm writing this letter to say thank you for every blessing you delivered throughout the year. And one day, when I'm needed most, I hope I can return your generosity, and bless someone with just my presence and my arms. The smile on my mother's face and the tears of joy in her eyes were worth more than a hundred presents under the tree. And my father's proud smile when he saw me in my shirt and tie just after work was sweeter than any pie he could ever made. My brother's excitement to share his art with someone who appreciates his creativity, was worth more than seeing who had the biggest present.
I'm happy. This year you've delivered more than my fair share of blessings. It's been a long tough year, but I've survived tougher and harder. Still, there were times when I didn't know if I'd make it through. I've carried a broken heart for a while, and it still aches, but its starting to heal. You guided me to a simple but beautiful home for me and my two beautiful girls. At times there were days, that I'd not had anything to eat, and my glorious pride ensured that I'd never ask for help. Yet, somehow, as if they knew, an angel would share a meal with me. Through left over mashed potatoes and cups of cool soup, I've learned to appreciate all of the amazing people you've sent my way. In different ways, they became a part of my essence and my soul. Most of all, they helped keep my hope alive. A small flame perpetually flickering in the dark, they helped me tend to my fire, keeping my hope and passion alive.
My greatest blessing this year, was the realization that I'm most proud of my passion. For so long, I tried to hide it, because it was strange and misunderstood by others around me. But it's something that I'm proud, rather than ashamed of now. It's a gift that others may not understand, but a gift that I'll no longer hide from the world. Rather, I'd like it to be shared.
Thank you for the miracles and all of the beautiful people you have guided me to this year. And especially, thank you for this last grand finale with my family. I could not have asked for more. I got all I wanted for Christmas resting in my heart.
Sincerely,
Luke Disher 2014
Saturday, December 13, 2014
Awks. Aux. Ox.
Mid Nov, 2014
I have a story for you dear reader. Musings through a small portion of a young man's mind.
The job I had was in a back office at a resort. Someone had called and asked me to relay something too the front desk manager. So, I went to find the manager at the desk just down the hall.
Alexis, my boss, was on her way back to our office from the front.
Now,
this was a small hallway. Maybe only 5 feet across. Probably closer to 4.
She sees me, and she stops almost directly across from me on the other side of the hall.
She askes if I need help with something.
I figured, I can tell Alexis and she can tell the manager. So, I start to tell her.
And I do this thing when I'm trying to remember something where I look down.
I was trying really hard to remember what I needed to tell the front desk manager because it was really important, so I looked down and Holy SHIT!
boobs....
She totally noticed,
I realized this and made it so much worse.
My immediate reaction to realizing I had just unintentionally, yet very obviously, looked directly at my bosses boobs was "Close your eyes!"
So I did.
And I didn't just close my eyes for a second or two. No, I stayed like that, with my eyes closed, for a good 15 seconds.
I still have no idea what it was that I needed to tell the front desk manager...
I have a story for you dear reader. Musings through a small portion of a young man's mind.
The job I had was in a back office at a resort. Someone had called and asked me to relay something too the front desk manager. So, I went to find the manager at the desk just down the hall.
Alexis, my boss, was on her way back to our office from the front.
Now,
this was a small hallway. Maybe only 5 feet across. Probably closer to 4.
She sees me, and she stops almost directly across from me on the other side of the hall.
She askes if I need help with something.
I figured, I can tell Alexis and she can tell the manager. So, I start to tell her.
And I do this thing when I'm trying to remember something where I look down.
I was trying really hard to remember what I needed to tell the front desk manager because it was really important, so I looked down and Holy SHIT!
boobs....
She totally noticed,
I realized this and made it so much worse.
My immediate reaction to realizing I had just unintentionally, yet very obviously, looked directly at my bosses boobs was "Close your eyes!"
So I did.
And I didn't just close my eyes for a second or two. No, I stayed like that, with my eyes closed, for a good 15 seconds.
I still have no idea what it was that I needed to tell the front desk manager...
define this
they asked me about religion
cut collisions are all that's on my mind
can you
keep me from myself
'cause i've got nobody else to be me
can't you see
that we're all fighting a war
that started before
our mothers and our fathers were born
can we inherit nothing more than their tears
all their fears
lurking in the footsteps we leave
so we bleed
black, blue, red, white, and grey
we've let colors become definitions
inhibitions tying us to the floor
cut collisions are all that's on my mind
can you
keep me from myself
'cause i've got nobody else to be me
can't you see
that we're all fighting a war
that started before
our mothers and our fathers were born
can we inherit nothing more than their tears
all their fears
lurking in the footsteps we leave
so we bleed
black, blue, red, white, and grey
we've let colors become definitions
inhibitions tying us to the floor
Saturday, December 6, 2014
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