parasitic?

I thought about
what it would mean to call you.
Then, I worried about spiders crawling through the line
and building nests in my ear.

Parasitic,
like your existence in my heart.
Why waste my love on you?

Three years later,
Your vanity,
I saw it polished brighter in the flesh than I'd ever seen it.

The idea of the person you could be,
the glimpse of a person I thought you were,
and the person that you really are,
they will never be the same.

Or at least for me,
you'll never let me know her again.

So, I'd say I miss you,
but I suppose there's no one to miss.

Thanks for the favor.
Maybe now, I can find peace.
Even if I never stop loving
the person I once thought I knew.