I Refuse to Say Til Death Do Us Part

I refuse to say til’ death do us part.

Because you never know what is going to happen.

And honestly,

I don’t believe existence ends when you take your last breath.

I could die tomorrow,

Or God forbid you die before I do.

Just know that,

Not even death can keep me from you.

Death will not part us,

As long as my existence continues in this universe,

I will be by your side,

I will find you,

I am infinitely yours.

My birthday is tomorrow,

We’re still young,

But years are passing by.

And as they do,

Know that I’ll never ask for material things or money,

I’ll only ever ask for you.

I’ll wait my entire life for you to find me somehow.

Or if I have to I will find you.

I’m living for the only thing I know that I desperately want

The only thing that I can’t live without.

Just know that it’s you.

How Do I Get Your Attention?

I'm not on fire,
but my world's going up in flames.
Choking on smoke now,
smoldering years now,
we're both to blame.

I yelled loud,
I screamed you out.
You left twice,
and I broke down.

And when you came back,
I didn't trust you
I didn't know,
how this would go.

I didn't know,
what you wanted.
It's you I've wanted all along.

But then I got retarded,
started doubting you
started playing to my own tune.

I found a girl,
who said she cared,
wanted more than just a one night stand.

So, I let you go,
because I thought she'd be,
 good for me.
But she let me down.
And now I'm all alone.

Maybe that's how my soul is meant to be.
Forever wandering.
Maybe I should be
Tim Burton's muse,
Cause this dark soul's got nothing to lose.

So, I met a girl.
She said she cared for me.
Said she'd take this heart that's yours,
and cradle it
carefully.

But nows she's gone
without a trace,
and so are you,
and I'm the only one to blame.

Why did I fall in love.
Why do I have to care so much.
For someone who,
 doesn't know,
doesn't care when I need her the most.

I'm crazy!
I have to be crazy and a masochist.
Because I refuse,
To let you go,
because I never wanted this.

I wanted you.

I am yours if you'll have me.

I've had so many opportunities to be 25,
to conquer queens,
but that's not me,
not who I am.

And each time that I find the one,
she's not interested.
I feel the longing inside me,
but it's not there for her.

I am yours.

I am yours.

I've always been yours.
And I always will be.

Midnight Friend

I promised myself tonight,
that I'd write myself a happy poem.
One to offset all the negativity,
that's been bleeding out of me,
Since you left me all alone.

So, with best intentions meant,
I'm willing to commit,
to writing something silly,
Though I still won't feel content.

The other day when I,
was walking through the trees,
I felt the earth speaking all around me,
breathing life back into me.

I climbed up onto the top,
of a mountain in the city,
lights shimmering for miles.
Despite my sadness,
They were pretty.

A noise behind me took me by surprise,
a snapped twig,
And in the brush,
a twitching tail and two glowing eyes.

Most have been afraid,
but I've lost all sense of fear.
Maybe something's off now in my brain,
But I called it to come near.

It stared at me in the dark,
as I stared down at the city,
probably wondering what I was doing
"Here kitty, kitty?"

Of course he didn't answer,
But he never left my side.
I could have been his dinner
He could have taken my life.

But we sat there in the dark,
Neither of us threatening or in fear
Maybe he just needed someone near
I told him my sad stories,
and he lended me his ear.

So, there's my happy poem.
It's the most I could muster up for now.
About my midnight mountain lion friend
who stood strong behind my back
when the world felt like it as falling down.

Let's Be Honest Now

Don't kiss me now,
These lips are poisonous.
Just hear me out (just hear me out)
I'll warn you bell (I'll warn you bell)
I'm dangerous!

I know I want to!
But I can't have you.
I don't have the right to choose,
If I am right for you,
My Karma's bleeding though...

And I can't have you.
(I can't have you)

Penicillin won't cure the pain.
Been infected for too long.
Pills taken now in vain,
as my throat begins to close up...

I can feel the holy bishop,
taking me to Europe!

Because he wants me,
to float see you floating in the Dead Sea,
Instead of staring at the stars in the rain,
bleeding my heart out to the world.

Wants you to rip this heart right out,
because forever longing without a heart,
Is worse than the pain of bleeding out.

It's just another day.

I know I want you,
and I know I can have you.
But I've lost the right to choose
when I buried 15 hearts,
and stomped the earth down with these boots.

I played too many games before I met you.
Didn't know what I was getting into.
Never thought that I would ever find you,
Never knew that I would be blind to
tricks and games played by someone just like me.
(Just like me)

So, I can't have you.
(I can't have you.)

I'll never have you.
(I never had you)

I'll never have you.
(I never had you)

Never have you...
Never had you.....

Sleeping Hollow

My body is aching,
and it's torn up to shreds.
Like corn from the Earth,
she steals life from my breath.

Cause there's pieces of her.
still embedded inside,
ripping and tearing my organs
like shrapnel and knives.

No rest and no peace,
she visits every night.
Then, come morning she's gone,
and new wounds come to life.

She's gone, and I know that.
To her, I'm just bones laying in a box.
But I can't love anyone else,
So, I'll live alone til' my life has been lost.

The Butterfly Effect

I tried to love you once,
I tried to love you twice.
Truth is that,
I've been in love this whole time.

Forgiveness and forgetting is what I've been aiming for.
Been living my life without you,
and my heart was so sore,
I was tempted by another,
now I'm alone and broken even more.

How do you justify,
a promise to follow your heart?
then get wrapped up in the moment,
because you've been so torn apart.

I was ready for the wind, the waves and to see your face,
I was finally ready to come and get you and get out of this place.
But then I went and fucked it all up,
because my heart wasn't willing to wait.

I gave up the love of my life,
for another that threw me away.
I should have known that was coming.
Karma's slap in my face.

I deleted your number because I figured you'd want it that way,
Now I'm blocked on your Facebook and Google,
Erased.

I have no way of telling you how sorry I am,
It was rude to tell you I'd be there,
Then tell you I met someone else,
and hope that you'd understand.

It's true we have a lot in common,
But I have this way of repelling,
all the girls that aren't you,
But that's my fault, I had it coming.

I tried to fill these holes you left me with 3 years ago
With the "safety" of another,
but she took what she wanted
and then she let me go.

I shouldn't have trusted,
a heart that's as broken and bruised up like mine.
I should have stayed loyal,
I was giving you time.

I was two seconds away from having another try
And I messed it all up
because I didn't want to lie.

You're the one that I dreamed of,
That first night after they opened me up.
I wanted more than anything to see you.
In my dream, you were singing.
But then I woke up.

And reality hit me,
When you asked to see me,
I didn't want to hurt you,
because I knew she'd be with me.

I pushed you away,
And now you're gone without a trace,
In just two minutes of my life,
I threw all my happiness away.

I'm sorry.

I Dare You To Drive Away, I'll Just Hold On Real Tight

I don't know what to do with you,
And I should because we're the same.
But I don't quite understand myself,
So maybe I'll never understand the way you think.

You've sacrificed a lot for me,
And I feel I have for you.
I recognize that your sacrifice,
for me has been multiplied by two.

One day I hope to be the guy,
That can do the same for you.
I plan on it in fact,
Because my heart just wants me to.

And I can't do that with money or material things,
Neither of us care for that,
But building a secure future
Is what I hope to gain.

You're mad at me now,
And I completely understand,
But I'm also mad at you
Because you're pissed I chose to work instead of being a horny man.

I have to do my job,
So I can be a family man,
Chasing the American Dream,
And maybe you don't give a damn.

But when I'm older and I'm 30,
I want to say I've done something with my life,
I might not have a child
And I might not have a wife.

It's not that I don't want to,
It's just that I'm picky and I won't settle.
I'll wait for what I want,
And fight for it until I've lost the battle.

I thought my searching was over,
And maybe I got too hopeful,
Because I'm laying in bed alone now,
Cause I chose not to come over.

We both have responsibilities,
We're not teenagers anymore.
You've been strung out helping me,
And I know I'm capable of being yours.

But right now I have to be stable,
Hold my head up high against a world,
That seems determined to push me to my limits and knock me to the ground.

But I'm fighting as hard as I can,
To balance my career and my time for you,
because I refuse to be a bum and knocked off of my feet
I want to build my life for two.
A life for you and me.

You're mad at me tonight,
But just know I'm also mad at you.
I'd rather wake up with you by my side,
But I've got to do what I've got to do.

I'm not mad that you left,
I'm mad at how you treated me,
"The offer has expired"
Well then if that's how it's going to be.

I don't really have much to say,
Maybe you're chasing the wrong dream
I'm not the kind of guy that likes restrictions and timelines
I'm the kind of man that need to be free.

I care for you so much,
I slipped up already and said just how I feel,
I took it back because it scares you,
And I don't want you to think that this isn't real.

But you hurt me tonight,
Because I'm not up for games,
I tried gambling with my heart once,
It left me broken, poor, and in pain.

I won't stop fighting for you,
Because that's just who am,
But know that I'm capable of sacrificing,
and I hope that one day when I prove it, that you will understand.